#BeingThirteen

When Dr. Marion Underwood mentioned the CNN special report with Anderson Cooper, #BeingThirteen, I knew right then that I wanted to watch it and use it for a blog post. I found some of the information in the report to be a repeat of what she shared in her lecture at BYU the other night, but there were also a number of interesting points brought up during the special that she did not mention.

Here's my breakdown of the points that intrigued me:

• One girl said, "I don't like dealing with things face to face because it's really easy to hide behind your phone. [And in] face to face you have to deal with the other person. I don't like dealing with people that cry, or get really mad, and they say something mean back to me, and I'll lose, and I don't like losing." 
• Though I can completely understand why this girl would feel this way, I find this somewhat alarming. This quote makes me think of all the talk surrounding the issue of "losing touch with reality" and how personal communication/interactions have suffered because of digital media.
• When discussing cyberbullying: "Their biggest source of pain is from those closest to them."
• Cyberbullying is certainly becoming a bigger issue as time goes on, and if left unchecked I see no reason for it to slow down anytime soon.
• "57% of kids in this study said they'd rather be grounded than lose their phone, meaning if they had to choose they'd rather be cut off from the real world than the cyberworld."
• Are individuals (especially teens and young adults) becoming compulsive/heavily dependent on social media? Food for thought.
• Dr. Underwood emphasized a great distinction toward the end of the report about addiction when she discussed that she does not believe children are addicted to their phones/social media ("not the screens, not the devices"). However, many do seem to become addicted to the access that social media gives them (whether that results in positive or negative experiences) with their peers.
• Anderson at one point said, "Parents were way out of touch with what their kids were feeling. About 60% underestimated how lonely, worried and depressed their kids were." Later, Dr. Robert Faris (who was the other primary researcher involved in this study) said, "The other thing that's going on is that kids, by and large, don't talk about the kinds of conflicts they're experiencing because they feel like adults can't help."
• Though "way out of touch" might be exaggerating the point, I do think this should be a red flag for parents. I strongly believe that most parents never get to a point of communicating with their children too much, especially during adolescence.
• When parents at least make an effort to monitor what their kids are doing online it can really help to mitigate the conflicts their children experience online with their peers.
• The report spent some time discussing the idea of kids adopting a different persona online compared with who they are in real life, which granted was due to the nature of the study. However, I think this issue goes well beyond 13 year-olds and adolescents. Many people seem to do this on social media, and I think it begs the question how it affects society in general.
• Anderson gathered a number of parents in the studio and asked them about their children's use of social media. When he asked them, "Does it drive you all nuts how much they use the phone?" and "Do you think your kids are addicted?" all of the parents responded with a unanimous "Yes!"
• When a couple of the parents were shown some of the specific posts and videos from their own children, it was very interesting to see each one of them raise their eyebrows in surprise at what their own children were saying online.
• Bright spot amid this issue: At one point, Dr. Underwood said, "Nothing about the technology means it has to be bad." 
• Over the course of the study, thousands of positive/prosocial posts were recorded, which is a great finding. Social media can really be a great tool when it is used in positive ways.

Social media is a phenomenon that I definitely find intriguing. I have often thought that I grew up just ahead of the "social media boom". Facebook was big when I was in high school, but Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, and countless others did not really become as big as they are now until I was on my mission. Since I came home I have never really bothered to get involved with any of the newer platforms and just stick with Facebook. 

I hope the findings from this study spread and really catch the attention of the public eye. It will certainly be interesting to see how social media continues to evolve over time. Towards the very end of the report, Dr. Underwood shared what I believe to be the most important take-away: "I think parents can help kids remember that it's possible to have fun in other ways, that there are other things that are important and interesting." Well said.